My Two Best Friends
by mydoctortennant
Summary: Abby's thoughts on the whole RayNeela thing


**Here's Abby thoughts part way through series 13 about Ray/Neela. It was written quite quickly then beta'ed (or beaten as me and Maz like to call it) by Maz. So I hope you enjoy.**

Why won't she just admit how she feels about him? Why is she stringing Gates along? Okay I don't like the guy, nobody does. Apart from Neela it seems. He's such a jerk, everybody can see it, and Ray's tried his hardest to make her see it and god knows I have. I've had enough of him; all he does is call on fake consults to get her to the ER. But the worst thing is, she feeds it by letting him, and saying he's right, when we all know -including he - he's not.

I think everybody in the ER heard Ray call her on it a few weeks ago. He cares too much about her to let her career go to pot, that's his problem really. But he's looking out for her but she just won't listen. He even accused her of siding with him because she was sleeping with him, which is true. She just played the innocent, tried to make him look the fool. Lover's tiffs, if only they'd see them that way.

One of the nurses told me after the kid had turned for the worse when they had walked out leading him for the OR, Ray had tried to talk to her, to confess to her but, again, bloody Gates got in the way. It had sounded to her that he was about to declare his undying love in the middle of the ER, and she sure as hell wanted him too. I wanted him too. God, two years of them skirting around this is driving me mad. I mean I'm not the only one who saw the way he looked at her at her wedding, how lost he seemed. Her marrying Michael, what a mistake. I mean sure he's a great guy, but where is he now? Dead and buried, I know that sounds horribly harsh, but it's his own fault, he went back to Iraq not a month after they're wedding, and she blamed herself. She put it on herself that he died because of her feelings for Ray.

Well sorry, maybe if she had been completely truthful to herself before she married Michael, she would have seen sense, the sense that is Ray Barnett. How odd does that sound. At the end of our intern year he was deciding between being a doctor or a punk rocker, he couldn't be both. Or so Lewis said, he had kept up the band for quite a while; he was going to go to LA with them. Until they dropped him from the band.

That was rather amusing, him coming back and pretending that he hadn't actually quit, I found that amusing. I don't think Kerry did, I think she was glad to be shot of him.

Well now I have nothing but respect for him. He just needs to keep fighting for her; in the end she'll see sense. I bloody well hope so. We did get off to a rocky start, me and Barnett. There was some sort of competition between us, I would always call him on mistakes and he would lay into me. We soon got over that and just decided on helping each other rather than trying to better each other. Especially since that porch collapsed at that party. We were lucky, really, that Morris had had too much to drink; otherwise Ray might not be with us. Or Neela for that matter, she was meant to be going with him.

As odd as it is to hear myself say it, I hope he keeps fighting. He deserves her. Maybe a year back I would have thought otherwise; I would have warned her away from him. All he seemed to do was upset her with the constant string of groupies and more than occasional one night stands. I always thought it was because they were inconsiderate that she cared so much about that. But now I can see that it was because it wasn't her. Or, well, that's what I think. She can deny it all she wants, but I know the truth, yes I do.

I just hope they find happiness. I hope she realises what a jerk Gates is before it's too late. True love will find a way, I guess me and Luka are living proof of that. I never thought I would have or want what I've got today. After Richard I never saw myself ever wanting to marry again. And I sure as hell never wanted kids. But now I have Joe, and I'm marrying Luka. I couldn't be happier than I am.

Well maybe if two best friends of mine sorted their act out life would all be perfect. But I'm happy with my lot in life. Let's just hope Luka and I work out. Because I can't see myself living without him. I've lost him once; I don't want to lose him again.

**As usual, reviews are love. ******


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